Don't Be An Idiot: Tips For The Men Of Today

A little while back, I wrote an entry trying to educate the men of today on women. It was called: Don't Be An Idiot: Tips For The Men Of Today. In it, I described how not to approach a woman in a bar. Sadly, we are now in need of another chapter to this tale. Today I'm going to talk about fashion, and what men should and shouldn't mention about what a woman is wearing.

This morning I came into work pretty chipper. Considering it's Monday, that was quite an accomplishment. I sat down at my desk and turned on my computer. Immediately there was a knock at my office door. It was the painter we'd hired to do some work in the sanctuary for us. We chatted a bit about what he needed to do - so far so good. But then, for some inexplicable reason, he turns to me and says, "oh - it must be casual day today, huh?"

...ok. Guys, let me fill you in on what happens in a woman's head when you say something like that. "Wait... what did he just say? Casual day - what the hell is that supposed to mean?! Did he just call me ugly?! What's wrong with what I'm wearing?! I look good, dammit!"

And I did look good. Yes, I was wearing jeans (which are acceptable in my office), but they were nice jeans. Plus, I paired them with a coral-colored fashion tank top under a 3/4 length chocolate-colored cardigan with over-sized buttons and a wide-brimmed edge. I also had on an antique-looking rose necklace that perfectly complimented the whole package. Casual? I think not.

Now guys, you may be thinking, "But Laura, most guys don't know anything about fashion. He probably just saw the jeans and thought they were casual." Oh really? If that's case I'd suggest either learning something about fashion, or shutting up. One of the other, really.

On another recent occasion, I went the opposite way. I was wearing a maroon eyelet skirt that hung past my knees and paired it with layered white and brown fashion tank tops, very nice jewelry and white strappy sandals (this was in the summer). I looked very dressed-up - enough that I could have stepped right into a parent-thrown bridal shower or a fancy brunch. After work, I went over to some guy friends of mine's house and one of them actually said, "Wow - did you really wear that to work?".

A bit taken aback, I asked what he meant hoping he's say something about it being really beautiful. Instead, he chose to go with "don't you work in a church?". My thoughts on this one: "What? No, he can't mean that. He thinks I look like a whore? I can't even believe this right now!", and on and on.

So, I've decided I need to break it down to guys everywhere about what to or what not to say about what a woman is wearing. I know most of you think that women are complicated, but it's actually very simple. It is highly acceptable to compliment what a woman is wearing and tell her she looks beautiful in a non-sleazy way. Anything else is unacceptable. If there's any grey area going on - or if you're unsure if what you are about to say is a compliment or not, just don't say it. And everyone will have a better day for it.

Now, there are some situations where is it nice, even merciful to point something out to a woman about what she's wearing. Don't worry - this won't complicate things too greatly. If a woman has a store tag still attached to her outfit, point it out. If static cling from the dryer has caused a piece of clothing not intended to be part of the outfit to stick to a woman somewhere, by all means mention it. If a woman comes back from the bathroom with her skirt tucked into her underwear - please say something. Hell - tackle her and drag her into a back room - anything to save her the embarrassment of that one. In these situations it is very favorable to say something - she would want you to.

I guess the best rule of thumb is to think to yourselves, "is what I'm about to say nice?" Though seemingly a broad umbrella, I don't think it'll be too difficult with the ground rules I've laid out. Good luck guys!