Happy Belated Anniversery!

Oh my gosh guys, you know what we missed? We just must not have been thinking or something. Perhaps we were just really busy? Well, we're all playing the role of ignorant, apish husband today, because we missed the anniversary of Halley's Comet!


It was just last year that marked the 20th anniversary of the last official appearance of Haley's Comet. For some of my younger readers, Halley's Comet is a gigantic frozen ball of gas and rock that flies about in a predictable trajectory through space. Some refer to it as a "dirty snowball". Questionable morality aside, Haley's Comet is only close enough to the Earth to be seen once every 76 years. The last time it was here was in February of 1986.

I remember those carefree days like they were yesterday. As a sprite 6 year-old, I was obviously on the cutting edge of all astronomical events. Well, honestly I was probably more interested in getting my hands on some Garbage Pail Kids cards because all the other kids had them but my parents wouldn't let us because they were "just too awful". Even so, I actually had heard about Halley's Comet because AMERICA COMPLETELY FREAKED OUT ABOUT IT!!! Seriously - people were having Haley's Comet parties with their nerdball friends and buying merchandise, the whole nine yards. Everyone was waiting with bated breath for this things to zip past us on the horizon, our interest peaked by the dozens of highly detailed comet pictures with rainbow-colored tails headlining the nightly news.

So we waited and waited, and finally the time came. We all rushed outside to see what we could see... and... and...


Yeah. Great. Everyone in the nation, and maybe even the world gathered together to witness a small, fuzzy dot. As it turned out, most people couldn't even see it at all because increased light pollution masked the night sky. Geez. I'd have to say that Halley's Comet was probably the most disappointing astronomical event of my life.

But hey - there's no reason we can't get that party started again right now! We could do it guys! 2062! Whoo! Halley! Halley! Halley! If we hype it enough, those suckers in 2062 won't know what hit them. Then my 82 year-old self can just sit there and laugh at all those punk kids. Ah ha ha ha ha ha! Suckers.