Thoughts

My thinking has been changed a bit as of late. Well, maybe not changed, but just re-prioritized.

I usually always live for the small moments in life. This isn't a bad thing at all. My friend Chen just wrote a really great blog entry about her take on it. To summarize, living for the small things in life (instead of the big things) is like living for the present instead of the future. We really need to stop and take a look around us, and appreciate what we have and the people that are in our lives. If we don't do that, then our lives will pass by us and we'll have missed them. Her point was that maybe God is not just the God of the big moments, but of the small, seemingly pointless conversations with each other at Caribou or Starbucks.

I recognise that and agree. I tend to live for the small moments, but usually by default of never have anything big to work towards. Nothwithsanding, I do feel pretty blessed when I can appreciate the small moments for their own worth, but all thanks to God for teaching me this.

But lately, I think that I've been living too small, or at least too small-minded. I've been hoping for things like getting married, being able to ski all winter and fish all summer, and pretty much just everything that I want. The problem with that is, its just too small a life. Not that those are bad things, but life is too short for my whole life to be about things like that.

I saw "End of the Spear" in the theater lat week. I highly suggest that you go check it out*. Its the story of Nate Saint, Jim Elliot, and their group of missionaries who went into Equador, to minister to the Waodani tribal people. The Waodani were a very militant group of peole, who believed that by killing other people (enemy jungle tribes), they would grow strong enough to be able to make it into Heaven. The Equadorian government was going to send in troups to "deal with the problem", leaving the missionaries a very short time frame to get in there and share Jesus' love with them.

That's radical love. To love another person, or group of people so much that you're willing to risk your own lives for the slightest chance that you could share that love with them is simply unheard of. That's what Jesus did for us - He loved us so much that He came down here to a world that He knew would kill Him.

The group of men did go in there, and they were killed (speared) by the very group of people that they were trying to reach. After that, their wives and children went in and began to live among them (they let them because they were women). The women's forgiveness of the Waodani was a great testament to them, and they did end up accepting Jesus as their Lord. They stopped killing each other and began to live a more peaceful, life-respecting, loving life. Nate Saint's son even travels to speak at functions with the man who speared his father.

Love like that is worth living for - much more than any ski trip or fishing excursion. But, I'm left questioning how can love like this be lived our here, in America - land of plenty? How can love like this be translated into the small aspects of life, when it's such a huge deal in the first place?

Many Christians I know want to be misisonaries. I think that that is wonderful. I think that its great to genuinly care about other people, and strive to reach out and love them. Many of my heros are missionaries. But sadly, many people often treat America as a training ground. They have an attitude that says "Hey, I'll love people here while I'm waiting for the real action to start, but once I'm gone - I'm gone." They treat Americans like they need love less than people in other cultures, in other countries.

How do you live with a sacrificial love like that here? Work in a church? I consider churches to be more of a place for training and recharging. People who work in churches are there to try to teach other people how to love. Churches are like the univerisities of Christianity. But, we all can't live at the U. We need to get out there into the "field" and start working, start loving other people sacrificially.

Perhpas we should pray that God would give us oportunities to show the radical love of Christ here and now. I just don't want to get through my life and realize that I've spent it living for the things that don't really matter. I want to love people in a way that changes them, because God loved me in a way that forever changed me. That kind of love brings life - real, full, worth-living for, life. Only in giving your life away can you finally find the life that you've always wanted and needed. Perhaps its just easier to see people's need when their in a jungle spearing each other than in an office meeting downtown.

But the real question then becomes - will I be able to sacrifice like that if it comes down to it? Will I be willing to stand up for what I've been saying, or will I fold and become a hypocrite. I've come to realize that living for Christ is not just what you get (life, healthy relationships, real love, fullfillment) but also what you give (you life if necessary). I don't have much experience in sacrificing - here in America I get whatever I want whenever I want it. It seems like everyone does on some level.

* A great post on the ensuing (and completely lame) controversy can be found on Ochuk's blog.