More fun at the office...

Today, a bunch of children's books were "donated" (see: "we must be closer than the city dump") to us. Being a good little office worker, I decided that it way my duty to go through the goods and see if there was any "questionable" material in there. We are a Christian organization, after all. Plus, I've heard that reading is fundamental.

I came across a book called "My First Big Book". I was especially interested in it, because I assumed that it was full of important life-facts for kids to know. If you were going to give a kid his first big book, you'd fill it with stuff worth knowing right?

I discovered that it was about a boy named Stephen, and follows him through some of his favorite activities. Not bad - its a cute idea for a kid's book. However, I'll let you be the judge as how little Stephen's life will probably turn out.

This is Stephen. Here, he describes how he likes to go to the beach (in his teeny tiny blue swim trunks) to "catch crabs". How quiant.


Next, Stevie describes how he likes to go to the toy store with his sister, while wearing skin-tight orange leggings. And while he's sitting in a sweet ride, his poor sister (who isn't allowed to wear any bottoms at all) is forced to play with an egg that has sprouted apendages and green hair.


Not being satisfied with this, the kids go ask Santa for different toys. Always the trendy one, Little Stephen has decided to change from his skin-tight orange leggings into his skin-tight pink leggings. You can also see his sister beating Santa without mercy for that lousy egg toy. Oh yeah - Santa recoils in horror. You don't screw over little pants-less girls and live to tell about it.


Next, Stephen takes us along with him to the circus. I bet all his other outfit choices are starting to look pretty good right about now...


Finally, Stephen goes to visit Uncle Jack on the farm. Uncle Jack is not accompanied by his wife... not accompanied by a herd of cows... no, good old Uncle Jack is with "Felix, his favorite bull." Do you get the feeling that good old Uncle Jack shouldn't be left alone with kids??


So, there you go. I think that the youth of America are better off for having fine literature like this still around. Yup - no doubt about it.