Humility
I feel very humble today - and I'm very thankful. Its been a while; its been too long. I really enjoy knowing my place.
I don't know what brought this on so suddenly. I'm sure it was a combinations of things...
I just listened to a sermon by Pastor Steve on my computer. He was speaking about a time when he had such excruciating back pain that he could stand. He said that he's watch TV and become so angry about people complaining about their lives, when at least they could walk.
I also just heard last night that my Grandma has cancer, and they're going to have to remove a portion of her colon. The doctor's say that she has a 75% chance of surviving the oporation. She's not a believer, to my knowledge. But I'm more worried about my mom (the athiest of the family). I spoke to her last night, and I could tell she was worried. She's a person with a shell of emotional protection around her so thick, a nuclear bomb wouldn't penetrate it. She's also the type of person who complains about people and consideres them to be burdons on her, so that she won't have to feel for them, or feel anything about them. And she said that she was worried about her mom...
God's also been putting the fact that I'm very difficult to get to know on my heart as well. I've been hurt by friends in the past - people who I trusted and loved. They've left me, and told me that they only want to be around me when I'm a certain way, ect. It left its mark. I've continued in those relationships and made new friends, but its difficult for me to trust people. But I've been convicted of the fact that that's no excuse. I want to be someone who shares their life with others. Its just interesting to think that maybe people will want to know what I'm about.
Well, anyway. I don't really have much to say. I hope this humility lasts, though. Right now I'm thankful for the journey, and I'm thankful for the flaws, and I'm thankful for being thankful. Its a really nice place to be.
I don't know what brought this on so suddenly. I'm sure it was a combinations of things...
I just listened to a sermon by Pastor Steve on my computer. He was speaking about a time when he had such excruciating back pain that he could stand. He said that he's watch TV and become so angry about people complaining about their lives, when at least they could walk.
I also just heard last night that my Grandma has cancer, and they're going to have to remove a portion of her colon. The doctor's say that she has a 75% chance of surviving the oporation. She's not a believer, to my knowledge. But I'm more worried about my mom (the athiest of the family). I spoke to her last night, and I could tell she was worried. She's a person with a shell of emotional protection around her so thick, a nuclear bomb wouldn't penetrate it. She's also the type of person who complains about people and consideres them to be burdons on her, so that she won't have to feel for them, or feel anything about them. And she said that she was worried about her mom...
God's also been putting the fact that I'm very difficult to get to know on my heart as well. I've been hurt by friends in the past - people who I trusted and loved. They've left me, and told me that they only want to be around me when I'm a certain way, ect. It left its mark. I've continued in those relationships and made new friends, but its difficult for me to trust people. But I've been convicted of the fact that that's no excuse. I want to be someone who shares their life with others. Its just interesting to think that maybe people will want to know what I'm about.
Well, anyway. I don't really have much to say. I hope this humility lasts, though. Right now I'm thankful for the journey, and I'm thankful for the flaws, and I'm thankful for being thankful. Its a really nice place to be.
posted by Laura Ibsen @ 12:45 PM
1 Comments:
At 5:03 PM, August 30, 2005,
Laura Ibsen said…
Oh - its just a cover. She's really a very loving and caring person, but she's very guarded with most people. I think she's been hurt in the past.
When I began to love her unconditionally, and unjudgementally she began to upon up to me and really trust me. It was only after I put my faith in Christ that I was able to do that.
Thanks for the concern about my Grandma. I think it'll be ok. :)
Post a Comment
<< Home