This Will Not Stand!

Ok - let me see the actors you've brought to perform in the nativity scene this year.


Wait - what the hell is up with this? Let's try to be somewhat factual about this people! Snowmen? I don't know if everyone out there is "in the know", but the people invited to the birth of Christ were not made of re-frozen atmospheric liquid. They'd never have survived the desert heat!


Ok - come on now. The wise men most certainly did not bring wreaths and trees to Jesus (who, by the way, was not wrapped in swaddling clothes and laid in a toboggan) - they brought frankincense and myrrh!


Put your clothes back on this instant! Your snowman belly-buttons are disturbing me. This is way out of line!


Now, you guys aren't even snowmen - you're marshmallows! I'm onto you. Jesus was most definitely not made out of marshmallows - the straw would have stuck to his head!


See - I can't even talk to you anymore.

(Merry Christmas everyone!)