Thoughts
I had a good holiday weekend: lots to do, lots of time to think. I was supposed to go to Montana this coming weekend with UR. I had never questioned going, just decided to do it. However, halfway through wathing Batman on Friday (which was an AWESOME movie), I decided that maybe I shouldn't go. I just didn't feel that going would be the responsible thing to do. As I thought about it more, I decided that 1) I should probably save money, 2) I should save my days off of work, 3) Montana wasn't a place that I was particularily interested to see, and 4) If I was patient and did what I should be doing (working, being responsible), then maybe I would be well-prepared when a trip with friends comes along that I'd really love to do.
I thought a lot about being responsible. What does it mean to live your life in such a way that honors God? Up until now, I've been quite rebellious, in my own little way. Granted, I've never really partied, or drank, or smoked, or was permiscuious, or anything like that. However, I have always tried to get away with as much as I could by working as little as I could, or by gaining the fewest negative consequesces.
After I graduated college, I just didn't want to work a full-time job. I thought that that would be way too much of a burdon. So, I work three part-time jobs for a while. After I got tired of that, I did get a full-time job. I now work in the Phillips neighborhood, at a Christian non-profit. Though I'm now obedient to working as much as I should to be able to pay my bills and the like, I still make sure I take every moment of break I get and leave every change I get. I found I needed it to get through the day. But is there something to be said for just sticking it out? I mean, your break is your break. I'm not saying to not take them. But maybe I should not be thinking about myself so much. I approach it with an attitude of "what can I get out of this, and how much of it can I get".
It really lapses into every aspect of life, the selfishness. I know that in Wisconsin, mandatory ticketing is at 10 miles over the speed limit, so I drive 9 miles over. Why don't I just drive, say, five miles over and never have to worry about it? My rebellious nature.
Its seems silly, but the heart of the matter is the same whether your boozing it up every night or driving 9 mph over the limit. Its all about you. Its being selfish.
So, lately I've been trying to do what I should do. I'm going to think about the things I should, say the things I should, and do the things I should. I've decided that I'd really like to be obedient and not rebelious. I don't think that there's so much to fear as I once thought. I don't think that I'll lose my freedom. I think I'll gain a freedom that I would have never known before. I can still be a risk-taker and bold, but I can also be obedient. Its an interesting concept.
I thought a lot about being responsible. What does it mean to live your life in such a way that honors God? Up until now, I've been quite rebellious, in my own little way. Granted, I've never really partied, or drank, or smoked, or was permiscuious, or anything like that. However, I have always tried to get away with as much as I could by working as little as I could, or by gaining the fewest negative consequesces.
After I graduated college, I just didn't want to work a full-time job. I thought that that would be way too much of a burdon. So, I work three part-time jobs for a while. After I got tired of that, I did get a full-time job. I now work in the Phillips neighborhood, at a Christian non-profit. Though I'm now obedient to working as much as I should to be able to pay my bills and the like, I still make sure I take every moment of break I get and leave every change I get. I found I needed it to get through the day. But is there something to be said for just sticking it out? I mean, your break is your break. I'm not saying to not take them. But maybe I should not be thinking about myself so much. I approach it with an attitude of "what can I get out of this, and how much of it can I get".
It really lapses into every aspect of life, the selfishness. I know that in Wisconsin, mandatory ticketing is at 10 miles over the speed limit, so I drive 9 miles over. Why don't I just drive, say, five miles over and never have to worry about it? My rebellious nature.
Its seems silly, but the heart of the matter is the same whether your boozing it up every night or driving 9 mph over the limit. Its all about you. Its being selfish.
So, lately I've been trying to do what I should do. I'm going to think about the things I should, say the things I should, and do the things I should. I've decided that I'd really like to be obedient and not rebelious. I don't think that there's so much to fear as I once thought. I don't think that I'll lose my freedom. I think I'll gain a freedom that I would have never known before. I can still be a risk-taker and bold, but I can also be obedient. Its an interesting concept.
posted by Laura Ibsen @ 4:45 PM
1 Comments:
At 1:26 PM, July 08, 2005,
Laura Ibsen said…
Well, it was the story about how Bruce Wayne turned from a spoiled, vengance-filled, vigilante into Batman, who strove to do what was right. I decided to think about how responsible I was being in my life. You could probably just chalk it up to me thinking that everything has to relate back to me. Hmmm... Using selfish means to discover that I've been being selfish...
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