Hannah

As people, we often spend time thinking on the things we want in life. For me, there are somethings that I've wanted for a long while, and some things that I've more recently found myself wanting.

Lately, I've been thinking about the story of Hannah. Hannah was the mother of Samuel in the Old Testament. She was married to a man named Elkanah, who also had another wife named Peninnah. What Hannah wanted more than anything was to have children. Peninnah had had plenty of children, but Hannah had none.

Whenever the "family" would go to the temple, she stayed cried on her hands and knees to God constantly. She would not even stop to eat or rest. Her husband wondered why she couldn't just suck it up and enjoy the blessings that she had already been given (namely him). But there she stayed, crying and praying about this one thing that she didn't have, what she wanted more than anything else.

Yes, Hannah was kind of a downer, but you do need to give her credit for being a woman of respectability and honor before God - I mean, at least she didn't try to go out and get pregnant with someone else instead of her husband. She cried out to her God for the things that she wanted, knowing that they'd be much sweeter coming from Him.

I can understand Hannah. I know what it means to want something so much that, no matter if its right or wrong, you just want it. It consumes your thoughts, and you don't know if God gave you the desire, or if you created it yourself. You know that you want to want God more than anything, but you're afraid that you might secretly want this one thing more, and you're afraid of the implications of that.

I don't know if Hannah had good motives for wanting her kid. The Word says she had "bitterness" in her soul about this issue. Was it bitterness toward God? Toward her husband's other wife who had kids? Toward herself for not being what she wanted herself to be? Maybe all of it?

The Lord remembered her and gave her her son. Why did He do it? I don't know. I know the Lord longs to fill the desires of our hearts with good things. I know it probably wasn't because of the little deal she made with God about dedicating her son to Him. Hannah was faithful in coming to the Lord instead of turning away from Him, and she tried to walk in His way even though she had this urgent longing deep within her.

But, I think that even if you are out there, living a full, Christ-centered life, you could still want more. In fact, I'm sure a lot of people find it hard to be content. It may be even more difficult to actually be content, yet still have the drive to strive on toward different things, or in different directions that God may have for you. Where's the happy medium?

Paul said "I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want." -Philippians 4:12

So, it is possible to be content and still live in want. Hannah defenately lived in want, but was she in any way content? Perhaps the only place she could find solace with at the temple, close to her God. Can someone really be bitter and living in want, and yet still be content?