Retreat

I'm going on a retreat this weekend with Hope Community Church. Its their annual Spring Retreat. I went last year and it was fun. I'm really looking forward to it this year because I don't have any friends going. I know it sounds weird, but I think it will be fun. There are a lot of people that I know going, but none that are my friends.

Its good because I need a weekend to get away and sort some things out. I kind of like the fact that no one really will know me there, so I don't have a past with anyone. There won't be any identity pressure (hopefully) this weekend. I have a tendancy to be sort of a people pleaser, and alter my personality depending on whome I'm with. I don't do it that much anymore, because I know and like who I am. However, I have a lot of friends that I still have, that I used to do that with.

Its funny, because I used to be afraid of situations like this. I used to be so uncomfortable in when I didn't know anyone and I was the odd man out. I'd sit there being quiet and withdrawn, which really isn't me at all. However, with other groups of people I was desperate to fit in and be accepted. I didn't have a lot of friends at the time, and really wanted to be involved in that community. So, I had a lot on the line there. Now I am more secure in the fact that I have a lot of friends. I'm not really looking to make life-long friends at the Hope Retreat. So, I feel really free to be myself and take life as it comes.

I will be sorting through one relationship in particular, this weekend. I need to spend some time figuring out how I feel about a this relationship, and if whether or not what I'm feeling is correct. This person inhabits much of my thought life lately, and God has been revealling more and more truth to me about this person. I'll let you know how it goes.